​Where you'll find me Is a home I call this mess Telling stories of a substance that once gave my chest Is a home I call this mess Telling stories of a substance that once gave my chest I hope you drown in your bottle I hope your drugs leave you empty You took my life when you refused to change A bridge once burned can never be the same Caught in a perpetual state of desperation You told me to never raise my fists to the ones I love Hypocrite hypocrite I hate the hand I've been dealt I never asked for this I hate the blood flowing through my veins You'll always be haunting me I've run as far as I can Just to stay safe I tried so hard to be the son you wanted Where did I go wrong If you don't want to be here I'm torn to think I do Don't ever say that I don't deserve this world you brought me into I'll never be good enough for the love that you withheld You were supposed to love me you were supposed to care If you don't want to be here Then leave me with the truth Don't ever say that it's worth the hurt that you never even knew I'll never be good enough for the love that you withheld You were supposed to love me you were supposed to care How am I supposed to love myself I've seen sickness I've seen health Either way it's gone to hell Damaged boy replaced by addiction An outcast looking in on what I lost Abused as if it was nothing A better life in my mind I know I break everything I touch Like father like son If you don't want to be here I'm torn to think I do Don't ever say that I don't deserve this world you brought me into I'll never be good enough for the love that you withheld You were supposed to love me you were supposed to care If you don't want to be here Then leave me with the truth Don't ever say that it's worth the hurt that you never even knew I'll never be good enough for the love that you withheld You were supposed to love me you were supposed to care You broke my family, I live with the blame Would you have loved me more if I was just like you A bastard a fiend You're a god damn disgrace Born a burden and I have a cemetery mindset I'd do anything to go back and make you proud I'd do anything for the family I once had I'm sorry I'm not good enough I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm not good enough I'm sorry I'd do anything to go back and make you proud I'd do anything for the family I once had I'm sorry I messed up I'm sorry I'm sorry I messed up I'm sorry

​Am I really so alone Or is my mind playing tricks on me Is it all just in my head or can you see it too Depressed and anxious scared to sleeplessness I can see the disappointment in my own reflection I'll force a smile as I wrestle with thoughts of dying Just to keep you satisfied Just to keep you calm I'll bite my tongue to stifle my screams until I taste the blood I'm losing faith in a better tomorrow If you said my life would end today I would finally smile I tried to save my elf I was in too far deep I tried to hide my screams End of the rope is in my reach I tried to save myself But I failed to calm my mind I couldn't deal with the mental strain I'd give my life to end this pain So stuck in seclusion I pushed everyone away My insecurities my only company I lost my hope when I lost my sense of worth I found solace in self destruction I'll let my soul burn I tried to save myself I was in too far deep I tried to hide my screams End of the rope is in my reach I tried to save myself But I failed to calm my mind I couldn't deal with the mental strain I'd give my life to end this pain I only have myself to blame I lie awake at night Praying to fade away No one will ever love me I can't face the world on my own I'm wilting away day by day watch me decay I'll die alone, I'll die alone I only have myself to blame

I hate myself I hate that I'm a slave to my sins God only knows the guilt that's within Compromised between the lies that I've told Coincide with the things I with hold I hate myself and the beat of my heart My hands are calloused and torn apart From tying nooses there's no excuses Always been a letdown I can't hide my demons Everyone can see them They're pulling me down Muting my mouth I must hide my demons Where no one can see them They're driving me insane I need a grave of my own These chains were there from the start These chains keep holding down my heart These chains were there from the start These chains are what tear us apart I am the scum that I hate All of my misguided attempts at peace Start an unintentional war Im the architect of my destruction Sabotaging myself at every turn and I've walked on eggshells for far too long I can't remember the sound of my voice It numbs me sinking to the bottom of this bottle I cant look my best friends in the eyes I just wanted to be happy I wanted to be free The more I push the colder I get It's like a tidal wave crashes over me I can't hide my demons Every one can see them They're pulling me down Muting my mouth I must hide my demons Where no one can see them They're driving me insane I put this scare crow up to push them away There's a man in my head he says he wants me dead Let him have my heart Rip it out rip it out I fight too hard to always end up the same I'm a broken man forget my name

​In a moment let my fears get the best of me I am a victim of my own pessimism I pray to a God that doesn't listen Please don't let anyone else feel this way My heart is breaking from the weight of the world Why won't anyone save me Part of me died in that broken home And it's taken me years to learn that I can't go back I have to move on I have to know that this pain will stop What I waited and I waited But nothing changed I waited and I waited It all stayed the same Liar liar you said I'd be okay Liar liar I'm as sick as can be Part of me died in that broken home And it's taken me years to learn that I can't go back I have to move on I have to know that this pain will stop Part of me died in that broken home And it's taken me years to learn that I can't go back I have to move on I have to know that this pain will stop I've found the most painful feeling is slipping back and relapsing again Sinking back into old habits and feeling it all The guilt I'm burdened with will never leave me It never leaves me I'm a slave to these suicidal thoughts in my head Ending it all before my time I can't die like this There's too much left to see My friends and family are counting on me Fighting these thoughts everyday I have to grow stronger I have to grow stronger than this Finding the courage to stay I won't end this life in suicide